This one made me smile out loud. Here’s an excerpt from Megan Taylor’s essay “The Lottery“:
And my grandmother says, “The lottery’s the highest it’s ever been. I asked my hairdresser to pick up an extra ticket for me. And I know just what I’ll do if we win.”
[. . . ]
Grandma has wanted to win the lottery for as long as I can remember.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“I’ll give you the money to run an ad with tire prices so low that the competition won’t know what to do! They’ll be scratching their heads, saying, ‘Where did she get tires at those prices? How can she sell them so low?’ And customers will be coming in left and right! You’ll have to beat them off with a stick. It’ll be such fun.”
I’m excited then, too, thinking of pissing off the competition. Getting even. It’s not the high road, but it makes me smile just the same.